“Can’t Get CTE In A Baseball Stadium” Explains Harvard Linebacker With CTE

"You sure can’t Crawdad. You sure can’t."

“Look, Mrs. Crimson Reporter, it was really just about safety. Playing at Fenway kept us safe this year against Yale,” said Senior linebacker Crawdad Toof. Once again I had to remind him that I am a man and that I was, “Over here,” to which he replied, “Oh thank you, thank you. I just gotta lie down for a second.” Toof was asleep within seconds.

Harvard’s administration claims to understand the student body’s disappointment with the decision to move Harvard-Yale to Fenway, but at the end of the day they need to, “Look out for Student Athlete’s Safety, and prevent a good tailgate from happening at all costs.”

“Can’t get CTE in a baseball stadium, ma’am,” Crawdad said smiling, looking blankly off into the distance. You sure can’t Crawdad. You sure can’t.

Comments

  • I can't believe that “Can’t Get CTE In A Baseball Stadium” Explains Harvard Linebacker With CTE!!!

  • Hillman Gilbert, you are such a brilliant writer.

    Dirty Yucky, you are such a brilliant writer.