OP-ED: You Accuse Me of “Pitting Minorities Against Each Other” But This Bum Fight Was Not Orchestrated Based Upon Race

“Pitting of minorities against each other” is a term that gets thrown around pretty causally these days. I’m sure you’d agree that it’s pretty tempting to accuse Joe Q. Citizen of this exact crime any time he so much as asks for the time of day at an inconvenient moment. Hell, just yesterday I shouted “this guy’s pitting minorities against each other!” when a child asked me if he could use the restroom.

Given this history, I’m sure you can imagine my surprise to hear that I, of all people, was now being accused of pitting minorities against each other. Me? I was stunned. You see I’m a simple woman. I go to church. I like to train bums to fight each other and invite people to gamble on the outcomes. I donate to charity.

Now, does this specific bum fight feature two members of minority groups, each pitted against one another by me alone? Not quite. You see, I didn’t select them based upon race. That would be racist. Ha! It’s laughable that I would do something so horrible. Ha! Ha! No, you see, I select the scrappiest, hungriest, dirtiest bums regardless of race. Sometimes you alone have to be the person who makes a difference. That’s why, when I see any single bum who looks like he or she has the potential to absolutely lose it in the ring, I say “get in the car”.

So maybe next time you see two bums that belong to minority groups fighting each other and me shouting at them while businessmen throw dollar bills into the ring and you think I’m “pitting minorities against each other”, maybe you should check your privilege and see it for what it is: just like, fun, for me, to watch.

Comments

  • I can't believe that OP-ED: You Accuse Me of “Pitting Minorities Against Each Other” But This Bum Fight Was Not Orchestrated Based Upon Race!!!

  • Helvetica Neue, you are such a brilliant writer.