We at the Crimson would like to extend some words of encouragement to all Expos 10 students reading this article. HAHAHAH. AS IF! Seriously, this might as well be written in wingdings. Despite our many warnings to the Expos 10 preceptor (who wishes to remain anonymous for obvious reasons of shame) that the only things on paper their students will understand are pictures and the stamp which they use to sign their name, they begged us to publish this article.
“Just because words hard no mean they always will be,” the preceptor said in a far too encouraging tone. When asked if they considered their class to be more of an introductory writing class or a daycare, they pretended not to hear me and repeated for the fifth time during the interview that their students were, “Learning every day” and that, “In time they may grow up to become journalists, presidents, or even parents.”
Perhaps we, the inimitable staff of the world’s best newspaper, are just too naturally good at reading and writing to comprehend that Expos 10 students may come from backgrounds with English as a second language or academic pasts which did not prepare them for college writing. HAHAH HAH AHA HA. NOT. IT’S FUCKING EXPOS 10! You could get an A in that shit by sitting on your keyboard and sliding your butt around. “Yes. The butt sliding method is actually something I hope to work on with the students in the next unit,” said the preceptor.