With every passing day, Harvard gets closer to becoming the exact plot of Children of Men. In the Class of 2019, approximately 200% of people (with a 100% margin of error) have not had sex. In order to ensure the eradication of the human race, I decided to go deep undercover so I could put my thingy inside a twat -- that way no one ever has to do it again.
I picked up one of the courtesans that hangs out in the Science Center basement and took her back to my hallway triple in Thayer. I asked her if it was okay if my roommates were home and she said yes, but when we got to my room they were all gone so I called them back to watch. I stripped down to my body armor and pulled off her pants with my teeth. She opted to keep her shirt on and put her pants back on. I skipped that whole condom nonsense because I doubted she’d be good enough to make me splooge, and I didn’t intend to waste my seed on a common harlot.
She laid down on her back all sexy, and then I stuck it in and peed really hard. It was pretty good, nothing crazy. Basically just feels like jerking yourself off with a person. I think I understand why nobody does it.