Over the break a flying bird fatally crashed into Lowell senior, Matthew J. Sciamanna, who was killed upon impact. Sciamanna was killed instantly by the bird. The bird is expected to make a speedy recovery. Sciamanna’s ashes were scattered on top of the Guttenberg Bible, of which he was remembered for saying “No for real though I always thought it’d be pretty awesome to do some weird stuff to that huge bible”.
When asked for comment, Sciamanna’s grandmother and caretaker, Loretta Sciamanna said “Ma gave me a straw-penny, and I’ve got to get these hot-cross buns back before pah comes home from the mill and hits us for not having supper ready on time.” She has dementia so it’s pretty much a crapshoot on whether you get something quaint and charming or horrifically antiquated from her.
Many Lowell students expressed sadness over Sciamanna’s death. Sciamanna, deceased, was not available for comment.