Texas Club of Harvard Celebrates "One Last Abortion"

By Clunt Westboro, Town Moron

Yee-haw! Harvard’s Texan population is getting excited and getting on their feet at one final chance for women from the 45th most musty state in the Union to exercise their rights as free, autonomous individuals. The “One Last Abortion [bor-shin]” event will take place this Friday at 4pm, that is, if any members of the Texas Club are able to achieve pregnancy first. “Yaw, weez was gunna shoot duh kidder wit a bin riffle if der was any time,” recounts MeatBone, President of the Texas Club and Rhodes Scholar finalist. None of the other members of the Texas Club could achieve a speech pattern recognizable enough to print in this article. Howdy!

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