Actually, It's Whom Can Be Racist?

By Poly-Guy, Major Issues

Look, I’ll stand by and watch a lot of things happen: for example, genocide. I won’t, however, sit by and listen to the imbeciles at this wannabe-Andover ass school misuse the Queen’s language. The other day I was perusing the top five most read Crimson articles, and right in between “Gash Stinky” and “But Not Stinky Enough,” sat The Crimson’s biggest headline since they broke the news that Larry Bacow and Prince Harry were getting divorced. That’s right, I’m talking about the infamous headline: “Who can be racist?” As much as I appreciate Crimson writer and trapeze aficionado Amanda Gump ‘23 telling me it’s OK for me to be racist because my mom has Crohn’s. I cannot stand idly by while this shitrag makes a mockery of the English tongue. It’s whom, idiots. Whom can be racist. So, to the editors of this newspaper, I ask that you hold yourself to a higher, whiter standard. And let’s start by changing the name of the newspaper itself: drop the “the.” Just “Crimson.”

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