Flyby Tries: Ranking Members of Hallway Doubles by Hotness

We went to every hallway double on campus and told them who’s prettier.

One identical twin was particularly upset. “It’s been a lifelong insecurity,” remarked Hannah F. Satirefive ’24. “Ever since my sister unanimously swept Prom Queen and won the lottery on the same day, things haven’t felt the same.”

Hannah confessed that while she enjoys being in the same grade as her sister, she often suffers from imposter syndrome. “Whereas my sister gained acceptance in early November, I got off the waitlist two days before the first day of college. It was the surprise of a lifetime!”

In fact, most students automatically assume Hannah is her twin sister. Classmates often ask how she is and are disappointed to learn she is the dull version of her magnetic twin.

Now, Satirefive & Satirefive live in a cozy one-double in Mather Tower. Hannah shares that while she is disappointed to be codified as the uglier twin, she is just glad to have been randomly placed in the same House as her incredible sister. She’s also grateful that her mom bribed her twin to share a room with her.